Every Sunday when I wake up between 10 and 12, the first thing that I do is turn on Sunday NFL Countdown. I’m usually in time, after my shower, to catch Where You At, one of my favorite segments. That got me to thinking, what would be the perfect NFL Countdown show? This show would need equal parts of what people want to see, what they want to hear, and what analysts need to cover.

The Lead: I imagine an entrance similar to the “Sports Sesh” from Eastbound and Down. Many NFL analysts used to play, so let’s see them show some of their old skill off. The opening segment could be the experts making fun of each other for their blunders the previous week, and guessing what they’ll mess up in the next couple hours. Keeping it light.

First couple segments: Make this your in-depth game analysis. It may be earlier in the show than normal, but the hardcore fans who care about every word the experts are saying will already be watching. No need to pander to the portion of the audience that is still in church, sleeping off a Saturday night, or still struggling to get out of bed in general.

Middle segments: This is where the fun should come in. I know the NFL doesn’t like the violence because it is bad for the image of the league and their new safety measures, but “Jacked Up” should realistically be the highlight point of the show, because everyone loves a big hit. Put the fantasy advice in next, because here is where most of the missing portion of the audience is now turning on the TV. Finish the middle off with Where You At, or another fun short segment of your choosing.

Ending: End it with a fun story about a player, team, or event, and have the final segment be the weekly picks. For some reason, I love having their picks fresh in my mind when the games are just about to start, maybe so I can see how accurate they are.

And what comes just before the weekly picks to close out the show? The recap of last week’s picks. My week last week was 7-7, continuing my season-long streak of mediocrity. (At this point my co-analyst of the dream show above would harass me mercilessly for doing such a bad job this season.) Again, when you are only beating two of the thirteen ESPN experts, you learn to stop guaranteeing success and just hope for it instead.

Indianapolis over Tennessee

New York Jets over Buffalo

Chicago over Baltimore

Cincinnati over Cleveland

Philadelphia over Washington

Detroit over Pittsburgh

Atlanta over Tampa Bay

Arizona over Jacksonville

Houston over Oakland

Miami over San Diego

San Francisco over New Orleans

New York Giants over Green Bay

Seattle over Minnesota

Kansas City over Denver

New England over Carolina

Those are my picks for the week! I hope you all enjoy your Sunday, hopefully shortened week, and have a happy holiday season!

God Bless!

– Dan