It’s 3 a.m. I’m in my bed and I hear a pounding on my door. My sister comes into my room and says, “He’s gone I’m sorry”. My Grandpap was a great man, he was kind, loving, humble, and the biggest sports fan I knew. I can definitely say that my world is gone. If you are reading this it is my hope and prayer that you don’t ever need this.

So now that someone you love is gone what is the next step? Well, there is no real answer. Each of us goes through the grieving process differently. But for me, the first thing we did was go to my aunt’s house. Seeing my family, my cousins, and especially my Grandma was so helpful; my siblings and two cousins went out as well. Being with these people helped me so much. During the funeral and viewing just having four people to laugh, cry, and hug meant the world to me, during the worst times in our lives and I grew closer with them.

For me, the next step was getting back to normal life. I wanted to get back to school, so I took a break from Sentry. Don’t ever feel bad for taking time away from your work. Your body is in shock and it’s hard to snap right back to normal. It was the hardest part for me. If this is you, here is what worked for me. If you have a pet, walk it you need sunshine. Make sure you are eating and drinking water. Be in contact with friends and family. This is what worked for me.

There are going to be days where you can’t get out of bed, where you just want to stay there all day. Don’t keep pushing yourself. For me, I told myself, “Grandpap would want you to go to class.” But during those days, feel sad, don’t push it down. This right here is hard. I am the type of person where I don’t ask for help, I want to be the one to help. So I relied on my close friends. The people who I knew who would care for me and I can never repay them. When you have bad days, have some media that is your comfort. Bob’s Burgers and Spider-Verse were my go-to’s. Watch something that you know will bring you joy.

Finally, take this all slowly don’t feel bad for doing it your own way. If you’d rather read books do that, if you want to learn some new skills do that. The biggest piece of advice I have is be you. Your life will get back to normal at some point. The pain will never go away, but it will get better. I’d be glad to help anyone going through this.